13-Jenna K: Loss

Nobody prepares you for the pain of losing a loved one. Whether it be a sudden loss, or a long draining process, it hurts the same. When my grandma passed away, it all happened so quickly. At around 10 pm one night we received a call from my grandma’s partner. He told us that she was having strange behavior, trouble speaking, and that he was calling an ambulance. By 9am the next morning, she was gone. After the initial shock of losing my grandma, who was one of my favorite people in the entire world, it was my mom’s pain that affected me the most. My grandma was my mom’s best friend, their relationship is one I aim to have with my own mom when I’m older with a family of my own. I distinctly remember sitting on the floor of the living room hours after my grandma died, while my mom sat on the couch calling various family members and friends informing them of her passing. I remember having to plug my ears because I couldn’t handle hearing my mom cry anymore. My best friend, who was also extremely close to my grandma, came over as soon as she could, and I remember opening the door and hugging her for five minutes straight while we both cried. The months following my grandma’s death were also very hard. Cleaning out her house, keeping things with sentimental value, and donating things we had no room for. My grandma’s house was located right next to where my other grandparents live, so whenever I go to their house, I pass by hers. It’s still sad to think sometimes that another person’s grandchildren will grow up visiting their grandma at a place I have so many good memories of. The absence of someone in your life never really leaves, but it becomes easier to manage over time. I no longer think about my grandma with sadness, but with happiness, because I can look back at all the good memories I had with her. I have memories of her scattered around my house, and a box of things that were once hers sits under my bed. I have a birthday card from her sitting on my desk because I plan to get her handwriting tattooed when I turn 18. I had a lot of good years with my grandma, and although I miss her, I know that wherever she may be, she’s proud of who I am today. Word count: 412